After work; I took some time to think to myself. I thought about the devestating events going on in Haiti right now, and I stopped to think about how lucky I am, really & truly. I road past downtown LA this morning, its tough to see all the unfortunate people living on the streets. I’ve seen plenty around in my own hometown, but I don’t think it ever hit me like that. It breaks my heart.
Me being away from home, my comfort zone, I’m dealing with it. It gets better day by day. I still get homesick every now and then, but I think I just miss what I’ve been so used to. NYC; it’s all I’ve ever known. I miss my family so much. Mom called me today to inform me that Dad has been having issues with his stomach. & I couldn’t help but give both of them 21 questions. I found myself giving Dad a complete assessment, as if he were one of my patients. Haha. However, he reassured me that he was fine, he probably just ate something bad. Before getting off the phone, he says “I love you, thanks Doc.” Haha. Doctor… He’s funny. What can you expect. Since the start of my nursing career, my mind set has been so different. I analyze everything medically and always want to get to the bottom of things. I think that’s one of the hardest parts about being away from them; when something isn’t right, I wish to make things right. I told Mom and Dad, I’ll be the one giving their healthcare providers a hard time in the future. I’ll be the one making sure things are going right and that there are no screw ups. Haha.
Work. They say find a job that you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Yeah, for the most part. Besides the work load that comes with patient care, and the stress that comes along with it sometimes, I enjoy coming into work, my heart is genuinely there. “What would I do without you” and “bless your heart” is what I get almost everyday. The elderly makes up 70% of my patient population, and I can tell you, I commend them, for the things they’ve gone through in their lifetime. I really take time to get to know my patients whenever possible, to build trust in our patient-nurse relationship. They count on me, trust in me. You have to build that foundation, because you’re not just there to provide a service by being just “some nurse” Anyways, I really praise them. They’re always just so sweet, and kind. No matter how bad they’re feeling, or how worse their diagnosis has become, no matter how much they’re in pain, and no matter how much they’ve loss; they smile once I come into that door, continue to give me wise advice, and are just in great spirits and stay optimistic. An 87 year old had a hip replacement, and was going through rehabilitation. I saw her perserverance, Another, a 93 year old came home from the hospital after being in there for quite some time, had to regain his strength again to be able to live on his own and independently as possible. In weeks time, he was able to walk with minimal assistance. They’re so strong.
So really & truly, I believe I’m blessed. & I dont appraise that often. I felt bad for myself, because I felt alone and that I was away from home. I complain about the stupidest things sometimes. I blow things out of proportion. I worry about petty things. I cry. I whine. I think the world is coming to an end when my phone charger fails out on me and my phone runs out of battery. I hate myself for having to wake up early sometimes, when I should be thankful that God has given me another day to live honestly and breath. But we’re human, we all tend to forget that sometimes.
I am fortunate; for many reasons. Yes, I’m away from family, but they’re always just a phone call away. & it could be worse, some people live away from their loved ones, countries apart. I have a wonderful career, I am able to pay my bills on time and manage my finances. I have a roof over my head; thank you to M for everything, for making my big move a better transition for me. Besides my co-workers, I’ve made new friends as well & they’ve been kind enough to take me around the town. I cook, I eat. I am able to provide for myself, take care of myself & take care of others around me. I am definitely doing it, and doing it on my own. & it feels good.